Our hero is still far from home, the journey is long and the road a challenge, but the night is clear and on the Autobahn he should make good time. He’s pleased with his choice of vehicle which he has only had for a few weeks. For him it reflects the stature he has achieved in the last few years as the head of the Economic Section for one of the Chinese banks that now control the central European financial system.


As the car drives through the night on the deserted road, the fuel cell quietly thrumming in the background, he reflects on why he chose this model. Of course it was obvious; it was the brand of choice for all of those wishing to display their wealth but without wanting to resort to the showmanship of some other manufacturers.


It reflected his personality and showed to the world that he had arrived at the top of his profession, while – let’s not forget – providing him with an effortless and quick way to drive the 200km to his weekend retreat.


Drive he mused, well not really a drive, he simply programmed the seek computer with the address he wished to go to, and off he purred from the office car park. He lounged back in his seat and watched the news review and then completed some analysis on the widescreen computer which effectively obscured the windscreen.


He could have taken manual control, but why bother, when the most you could do is accelerate to the speed limit which you are automatically restrained from exceeding since the EU-wide enforcement of satellite controlled speed limiters was imposed way back in 2010.

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He remembered how when he bought his first car nearly twenty years earlier, the brochure had mentioned ride and handling, hardly an issue today with the computer controlled suspension ironing out all the road irregularities. Power and performance had long since disappeared from the automotive vocabulary after the introduction of uniform speeds. Connectivity and systems integration are now the buzz words for automotive manufacturers.


And in truth, since the insurance industry barely covered people who insisted on manually steering their cars on the open road, he wouldn’t risk his new pride and joy to the vagaries of human intervention. I mean, you’d have to be barking.


No, far better to let his car take him home in peace and quiet, the luxury interior cosseting him and the new advanced technology pack ensuring he missed nothing of his real life outside the car. Yes, it was a good idea to take the plunge and buy the best. As he got out of the car later he knew he would look back at his pride and joy and be glad he had purchased a….Nokia!


– Big Dog


The strong views expressed in this column are exclusively those of Big Dog and are not necessarily reflective of those of the publisher, editor or other members of the just-auto editorial team. just-auto gives Big Dog an occasional platform (and dog biscuits).